Just to give you some background, in 2003 I went to Miami because I was pretty sure everything was a farce, but still wasn't sure how mentally damaging attending an event could be. After the 2003 event, my mind was made up.

Although, in 2002, there were some weird occurences that sparked my curiosity, like Daya's trance music and Rawat's wobble dancing. Also, people's animated applause seemed inflated and false, almost infuriating.

But, in 2003, security guards side-bridled and swarmed a toothless dancing woman out of the auditorium. She was not seen again. Granted, nobody else was dancing at the time, but, in all fairness to her, she was merely doing what she had probably done in events long gone, dancing expressively, that is, and was physically extricated from the auditorium because of it.

One of my biggest lifetime regrets is that I was too scared to stand up for her, or at least check to see that the swat team was treating her with dignity. Cults are strange, and they make people do (and not do) strange things. Before getting up to dance in the aisle, she was sitting in the chair next to me. In the brief moments before the event, she indicated that she had taken many buses to attend the event. Bundles and parcels underneath her chair buldged with clothes. To be polite, she generously offered me an apple before Rawat's grand entrance. All in all, she was harmless.

Like everyone else in the auditorium, I showed her zero compassion as the security guards "swarmed the bongo." My failure to do the right thing haunts me. Cult or no cult, when the situation arose, the strength to defend the defenseless eluded me. Guess I failed out of the cult, for reasons that shame me.

I'm not making up this story. Hopefully, it will give active premies some perspective on a non-premie's perception of Elan Vital. Premies can try to discredit this account, but, when their illusory world comes crashing down on them, they would probably have wanted some warning before getting metaphorically "swarmed" with reality. From an outsider's perspective, it's not "if it will happen." Rather, it's when.  

To me, that woman represents the fleeting aspirations of all premies.  The way she was treated demonstrates Rawat's fickle control of his organization, and how it ruins his followers' lives. Yesterday he was the Lord Incarnate. Today he is a Successful Private Businessman and Humanitarian. Give me a break!