If you were listening at all at the time, and I'm increasingly of the view that you weren't, then you would have heard Rawat say that devotion to Guru Maharaj Ji was the most important thing to a premie. Sure he also said we should do SS and M, but if you missed the devotion to GMJ thing you really were just enjoying your SS&M hobby and it explains so much about why you don't relate to other ex-premies. It also explains why you left with little apparent problem - we all change our hobbies from time to time, but rejecting the Lord is unthinkable to a devotee.

Am I wrong about you, Paddy? Did you love GMJ?