I've made it perfectly plain that I didn't love Prem Rawat. But I loved God and I loved Truth and I was told that by practising Knowledge I would come to experience SatCitAnand more and more and as it turned out for me practising Knowledge was very enjoyable and satsang was something that seemed to meet the definition of blissful regularly and meditation wasn't boring and service turned out to be fun. It was far from being a hobby but as I had two young children when I first came into contact with DLM I could hardly join the ashram. I relate to ex-premies the same as I relate to premies as I relate to all other people - on an individual basis.To me the whole thing was about experience and that was what I constantly heard in satsang both of other premies, mahatmas and the initiators and Rawat's. Sure I knew I was a little unusual in not having devotion to Rawat but I wasn't worried about it. If the Knowledge worked as claimed then that would come, as it doesn't work as claimed it didn't and when I realised the bait, while delicious, wasn't what it was claimed to be I left. I had faith that if Knowledge was real all would be right in the end so why worry, why think about it? As it turned out I realised by 1980ish that I was promised God Realisation and I ended up getting Rawat Fan Club. No thanks.
Sure the leaving was difficult and took quite a while because of personal relationships with other premies but it wasn't quite like dropping model toy making.
You J's may have been "blissful, devoted, live-filled, surrendered types who knew they were safe at the Lotus Feet of Sant Ji who was the Father who had come to take his children home" but that's not how you discuss it here on this post. At least from Joe and Jim it's all about fear and boredom and misery. Just read their posts.
