Sometimes I think it's like a divorce situation. You can talk to the wife, hear her story, understand it completely, and know that she is right. Then you talk to the husband, understand his story completely, and know that he is right. Fact is, they are both right - they are just seeing things in a different way. It's not about taking sides.

That's absurd and the fact that you could even go there shows how unclearly you're thinking.  That's the analogy premies like to use to avoid looking at the facts.  Indeed, you sound like one.  Back off yourself!