"It's dehumanisation. If you're a premie, and there is a conflict between serving your family, friends, or community, or serving Captain Rawat, there's not even a choice there. You have to serve Captain Rawat- being as he's the Lord, he's the one giving your family and friends life, so by serving Heeem, you're serving them too. Ha fucking ha. We certainly fell for that one."

Too true Anth........But you were always far too much fun, and warm and human to be a true Honcho. ( sorry...you failed   )  Thank God you made us laugh so much at those endless dreary London programs. If it hadn't been for you I might have missed satsang more often and leaving his lotus feet where would I have gone   ? 

I realise how I invented my own version of being a premie which sat more happily with my conscience ( no wonder Maharaji kept on and on about getting rid of concepts ...... those same concepts encouraged us to be kind to other premies instead of him ! ).  I followed my own path convincing myself that this was what the Lord had really meant and all those crazy Honchoes had misunderstood everything and their only choice was to get loads of darshan and if they were lucky that would save them   !

My big revelation on reading EPO was when the penny dropped that only Rawat was in control and was thus responsible for every single fuck up, every single confused premie , and every single shred of suffering that any " devotee" ever suffered whilst trying to serve him. 

How merciful is the Lord and how wondrous are his ways.