Good Morning All,

In the interest of my time and yours, I will try to be as brief as possible.  I am painting with a roller on this post, so I am sure those of you with finishing brushes will find plenty to 'touch up'.  And later perhaps, I can fill in some gaps that some of you might find.  This is some of my 'self-talk', you know, the stuff we say to ourselves but not out loud?  That is what needs to be said more here and everywhere, for that is our truth.  Some of you may think I'm nuts and some of you may relate.  Doesn't matter.  Everything is in play and the clock is ticking, yet eternity is ever-present.   

"When life gives you lemons, make lemonade."  -Anonymous

I believe that Prem Rawat did do and maybe even still is doing some good in the world.  His proclaimed task of revealing Knowledge to as many people as he can - taken by itself - is admirable and a worthy mission.  Despite all the bad news, bad premie experiences, and his own personal weird behavior and God trip swirling around him and his operation that I am appalled at along with the rest of the ex-premies, I have to admit that my association with him was not all bad. 

In order to maintain emotional, intellectual and spiritual balance, I need to look at both sides of the coin.  As the protagonist in Voltaire's classic satire Candide said whenever shit happened to him:  "This must be the best of all possible worlds."

Some may say that I think there is some good because of my being under his mesmerizing shtick of being the Lord, and you may say that has not rubbed off me completely yet in the subtle planes.  Well, it has.  I think that in order to have mental health and balance and a leg up on going into the future, one must find the good in life regardless of the negative that has transpired.  I do this for myself, not  for Prem Rawat, for my own peace of mind and positive attitude.  I am also aware that some of us may have more of a challenge to do this, due to the depth of their negative personal experiences.  Still I say that to find the good and leave the rest is a worthy exercise for spirit, heart, mind and body.  The greater one sees of the darkness, the more light they will see when they make the turn.  

I left a monestary, learned how to still and control my mind and thoughts in yet another way (that is always good), had some undeniably incredible moments with PR, met some very nice people, both premies and (later) ex-premies, traveled to places I probably would never have gone to, learned some great recipes, became much more careful about who and what I throw my life energy and support behind, met my now ex-wife (we met cleaning the glitter off a carpet he had just danced on in Miami in the early 80's) and have two great sons with her before we split up, went to Florida for a program in '78 right after receiving Knowledge and stayed 8 years....so some good did come out of associating with Prem Rawat.

Like I said earlier, I am not doing this exercise for his benefit, but for my own peace of mind.  I like to be positive, and still be able to call a spade and spade.  And I can do both.  It helps the head stay cool and steady and not all one-sided and off center.  We cannot spend 10, 20, 30 years on something and then write it all off as a waste of time without that thought hurting us.  I think it is healthy to find the good in whatever we do and leave the rest behind, and also leave signposts for travelers coming after us, such as this excellent Forum.

A wise man once told me that if I meet the Devil, not to fight him, but to compliment him on his illusion and keep going.  So the way I see it, if Prem is by some seemingly insane bizarro mandate on the side of God despite all the insanity surrounding him, his mission and his personal life, then what he said about never deserting a premie in their darkest hour should take precedence.  I mean, what could be a darker hour than to not recognize the Lord when He comes because of outrageous and criminal circumstances surrounding Him?  And if he is not a messenger on the side of God, then I have to say he had one hell of an illusion going.  He got us for a spell, didn't he?

I am acting on what Prem called the most uncommon thing, common sense.  Common sense - not spiritual or esoteric secrets from a scroll from a pyramid or something -dictates that the Lord would not have someone like Jagdeo in his personal court and be sent out into the world like a wolf  in sheep's clothing among flock for years on end without being noticed and quarantined away from the innocents.

Period.  End of story.  

To Your Genuine Peace and True Love,

San