Hi Joe, I've been thinking about your idea of residual fear of the Lord. Firstly, I didn't grow up in a devout household and the Christianity I learnt at school and occasionally in church was a very poorly introduced mishmash so I was never a believer and I hadoon background in believing in a Christian God when I came to Knowledge.I was much more influenced by Vedanta and Buddhism which seemed to me as an idealistic, somewhat mystical teenager to be more attractive. Unfortunately for me, DLM had a guru who had inherited his role and a 'Divine Family'' and neither were impressive. Though I tried to become a devotee by practising SS&M it never worked for me and one of the last things I would feel towards Prem Rawat would be fear of him as the Lord. Sure I have felt fear of his legal practitioners and the effects they would have on my life but that is something completely different.
He seemed like a fat, little selfish boy to me in the 1970's and the occasional glimpses of him on the TV have not changed my opinion much except he's older.
I always felt that the impersonal God, the only one that I was ever able to try to devote myself to, would be rather nice if he existed in some sort of form with which we could communicate. Now I just think the universe that exists without a God.
