Hi Danny

Apology accepted.

I question whether this site and those posting here are only here to work through their 'problems' with m or k.

No, some have dealt with their anger, but by staying here for any other reason than to (sensitively) welcome new exes, aren't they running the risk of remaining associated to M, albeit in a negative way?  Is it 'good for the soul' (well-being) to spend more than a certain amount of time tearing one particualar apart?

For me... finding this site ... several years ago and then only beginning to post here recently... has been more about WARNING potential targets of m and his cult. The fact that folks come in here to post their anger and explain the damage caused by M, and making certain that no revisionism works it's way in here... is fine by me. In fact... I commend those that will bring up ... over n over again... the facts behind m and his history.

Sorry, I didn't realise you'd only started posting recently.

I agree with you that "fragile new ex's" should be welcomed and allowed to express their views.... however ... I disagree that those views should ever be unchallenged when necessary.

There's healthy debate, involving challenge to deeply held views, and there's another phenomenon when a group of people pile into a new poster and virtually hound them off the forum.  Exing can be a truly painful thing to do, especially after 30 years or more.  Perhaps it's unwise in the long run to make new exes feel this is a potentially frightening place to post and express themselves whatever they might have to say.

IMO this is serious stuff.... not just some "lovey dovey hugs all around" new age banter.

I wasn't talking about new-agey banter, which I personally loathe as it happens.  I meant giving people a chance to settle in before laying into them if they ever express any wobbliness re their feelings towards M.  As I said above, thirty years is a long time to think someone's God (whether they admitted for the last 10 or not), and people need a warm, safe, supportive environment in which to start shedding layers, not such a potentially hostile one.

But IF, your intent is to force out 'older' ex's from this site , or in some way have them "lighten up" their posts... I for one ... disagree. I am grateful for them hanging around and continuing their "expressions".

Why would I want to 'force' anyone off this site?  It goes without saying that how long people stay here is their business not mine.  However, as long as I'm still registered here I'd imagine I have the right to express the view that staying here for years and posting continually about M could keep one just as hooked into M as one was before.

In other words, if you've all really left M behind, why carry on going on and on and on about it?  Doesn't there come a time when it's a good idea to stop and move on, leaving the forum to other, fresher, newer exes?  How is it that different to leaving a (horrible) partner and then spending the next five years going on and on about himwith all his other ex-partners?  In that case, people could be forgiven for thinking you still hadn't truly moved on...

Regards

Livia