John,

You can, of course, retire from the fray, but if it is to be gracefully then a certain mutual understanding should be established, if possible.  Not only did you offer an apology to Rawat for hurting his feelings, you also publically requested that your writings be removed from EPO.  Such a move is problematic because of the fair and accurate content of those writings.

Justice does not retract itself because of the hurt feelings of those to whom it is directed.  Justice only retracts itself when it has been mistaken.   Truth does not apologize to those who are embarassed by it or to those who wish to hide it.  These are universal truths, as close to universal truths as we can possibly understand.

I cannot know what exes have written to you in private, but it is my understanding that the major objection of exes to your apology and to your request to remove your past posts was that you seemed to be retracting  important and truthful information gathered in your writings.  I certainly wish you would have acknowledged to EPO and Forum 8 whether you stand by the accuracy and truthfulness of your newspaper article or not, and that your apology was only to Prem Rawat and his family for the embarassment that you caused them.

Personally, I don't care if Rawat's feelings were hurt by your article.  Similarly, if Marilyn Johnson Rawat is embarassed by today's posting of her "I am your new Mother" satsang, then I don't feel sorry for her one bit.  But that is your business and entirely between you and the people to whom you are apologizing.  I don't care if you were sincere or not in that apology, but what I do care about concerns something that is not just Rawat's business, but our own, and that is the publication of the truths concerning his cult.  I find it regretable that you wish to retract your article.  I cannot speak for other exes, but I would imagine that this is what concerns them also.  And I notice that it is confusing to people such as our newcomer Hussain.

What I do understand about your position is a certain difficulty in the struggle against Rawat and his teachings -  it can be hurtful to people with Knowledge that we do not want to hurt.   It may definitely be for the best that you no longer actively and vocally participate in that struggle, for your own sake.  We all have to come to terms with friendships and our own feelings.