Thanks for that analysis, which was very thoughtful.

It's clear that just because you don't consider yourself a premie that doesn't mean you wouldn't respond to the fears and directives that have become so internalized.  Even now, sometimes when premies come here and give those standard lines, it's almost like I could easily just fall into a kind of trance and nod my head, like I used to do in satsang, whether it made any sense or not. 

The idea was that it was entering my "heart" and that was the organ that was listening, and that's all that mattered.  It's like going to a play and entering into the "suspension of disbelief."  There is vulnerability there, and I think just because you have rejected that, it doesn't mean the vulnerability goes away.

And I don't know if it was just me, but the strongest feeling I get when I feel that way is alway fear -- fear that I got it wrong again and that I blew it.  It's pretty weak, but sometimes it's still there.  But this is what cults do, and I think it's unfortuantely why people stay in them for so long even if they aren't enjoying themselves and have long since stopped being blissed out.

And I agree with Cynthia that the "just-move-on" directive should be questioned.  It's okay to do it, because there isn't any "supposed to," but clearly, the motive behind the cult and many of the premies is not that they care anything about our development, or progression as human beings, they just want us to shut up because 1) they fear it reflects negatively on Maharaji, and more importantely, 2) what ex-premies say is always feared because it comes from people who have had "the experience" who were selected by Maharaji to have the divine gift, and they have come out the other side and said they don't think it amounts to much. 

And it just sounds a lot more PC to suggest that people "just move on," that it is to tell them they have no right to talk about their own involvement with Maharaji, at least anywhere that other people might hear it, or see it.