Hi Joe,

I've been having many different feelings today.  Probably all of them -- feelings that is. 

I've been going over this today, wondering if I in any way encouraged John to write the article when he wasn't personally ready, being a new ex-premie, to handle any potential backlash from the cult, because it's my strong belief it was the published article that blew Rawat's revenge-o-meter off the scale, not the Laver documents leak.  Btw, if anyone thinks that Prem Rawat doesn't run his organizations I think they are being dangerously naive.  Premies often try to separate Prem Rawat from the dysunctionality of his organizations.  Bad idea.  He's the leader, they're his organizations.  Period. 

When John emailed me about the article it came completely out of the blue.  My reaction was "Oh. Yeah. He's from Australia and he's a journalist."  I had never heard of John before he exited the cult and posted s few times on the forum.  There was no big conspiracy and no so-called "group" involvement to my knowledge.  I didn't know who else might be an article source and I didn't get an advance copy either.

It was as simple as a journalist emailing a source. In fact, it was so lackluster of an exchange, that John could have as easily been asking me the color of my Subaru four-wheel drive, as asking me about a gold plated toilet on Rawat's DECA B707.  He asked me one question, I answered it, and gave him permission to use my name.  That was it.  There wasn't any cheerleading going on nor any huge email ring happening about it either.  And I forgot about it.  

I think, in looking back, that it would have been much better for John as a newly exiting premie if he had not attempted to be a whistleblower and just tried to work out his own issues about leaving the cult.  That's all anyone owes to themselves anyway and certainly no one, IMO, ought to do any whistleblowing out of revenge.  The primary goal ought to be to get better, feel better, work out the confusion, grief, loss -- the spectrum of emotions and thoughts that are bound to come up after someone spends time in as a cult member.  When I think about it, John never really did post much on this forum and well, hindsight is 20/20. 

It's no mystery or secret that personality cults are notorious for retaliating against vocal former members.  Just look at what happens to former Scientologists for one example.  If a former member whistleblows, they should bank on finding themselves the target in the same fashion as John has been and possibly worse.  Lives can get ruined and no one should ever think they have the power to overcome that kind of vengeful mentality without being prepared for the worst.  I'm not being melodramatic.  This is about how cults operate, especially to protect a living leader against criticism. Prem Rawat has joined that league.  When EV published the FAQs about ex-premies, well, Prem Rawat was on his way.  That's what distinguishes him now. 

If someone wants to be a vocal critic well, then they had better work out their personal issues surrounding their cult first and make sure they are strong, healthy, have very thick skin, have a stomach and nerves of steel and be really ready -- expectant actually -- to take what may come from their former cult.  Why?  Becasue that's how cults work.  But, again, it's never necessary to do that.  That doesn't mean anyone ever deserves what a cult throws back at someone because they tell the truth -- it means that it's quite likely it's going to happen and is just matter of time.  This is especially important if the information someone has is potentially damaging to the cult leader or is a part of any secret teachings or finances of the cult leader and his group. 

I'm a tough old bird and so much has happened to me in my life that by now I've grown a pretty thick skin.  I've got to say though, reading John's post this morning had me shaking.  I felt afraid.  I cried.  I got angry, too.  Lots and lots of feelings. 

What that cult did to John is beyond any sense of decency.  But I think you're wrong Joe, about it not being an us and them thing.  Of course it is.  The cult has made it that way.  It's not what I ever expected from posting on an internet forum that's for sure, but the day that first CAC site went up, the cult declared war.  I don't live my day to day life in that mentality, but I do think it's true.

Why else do you think all those down-under premies came swarming into this forum this morning spamming around John's post?  They were gleeful that he was defeated and hurting and, in their eyes, fatally wounded.  Gleeful.  And that what did those premies come here to do?  They came here to gloat.

That says a lot.