My heart goes out to you and your plight.

I'm sorry that the tune I linked to caused such a strong reaction in you.  That was not my intent at all.  However I think it is important for folks to realise that the imprinting and conditioning that premies receive goes down very deep. It is only once premies realise how insidious this indoctrination is that there is a glimmer of hope to wake up from the dream, the dream that goes nowhere.  In my opinion of course.

Part of the imprinting that premies received is through the power of music and the hijacking of that inate power to further the infatuation (your word) of Rawat.  Attached to this post is another tune that for many people here will have deep memories.  It may well trigger quite a strong reaction in some people.  This is from the same Apostles LP.

Somewhere on one of the epo servers is the complete album I believe.  I'll try and find it when I get some time.

T