I guess our experiences must have been very different.

I am that person ex-ing after 30 years.I first found the courage to email Mike Finch just about 3 months ago...It was my first step towards ex-ing..and a huge thankyou to Mike for replying in such a kind and friendly way and for daring to use his real name and be so very upfront and open on his website. This made a lot of difference to me as I had known Mike in the early days and remembered him very well. I was amazed and impressed that someone who I remembered as a shy person had revealed himself in such an honest way..pics and all...I thought " so what have I got to be afraid of...and so this new journey began...

I knew it would be an enormous step and that it would be opening up cans of worms in my psyche that had lain on the shelf gathering dust since 1973 when I received Knowledge. Not only that but reviewing my tattered life since 1973 and all the life choices which would have been differently made. As Nar would say " What a crock !!! ". In some ways I admit that I can never know how M and K and premiedom did "save "me...for like many premies at that time ( 1970's ).....I was experimenting with my life in dangerous ways and I was confused and unhappy before I ever met a premie...  also I met some very lovely people ( who I now realise I never got to know properly because of the insidious influence of the brainwashing....nor did they ever really know me ). I can even give an example ( and this may come as a surprise ) . I knew Sir Dave very well in the seventies and early eighties. We lived near each other and many's the time he hung around in my front room, or we " shared satsang " Then off he would whizz on his bike. Did he know me ? Did I know him ? even though we often saw and spoke to each other, the answer is "No ". When I saw his super intelligent posts in the forum archives and his hilarious vicar stuff on EPO ,I could hardly believe that this very clever funny person was that same guy !!! ( Do you know who I am Sir Dave ? )

I am just at the beginning of this new journey, and exciting it is too, burrowing through layers and years of stifling crap and a kind of passive fear that has smothered my consciousness for so long. Phoenix from the ashes is an understatement, Paddy !

Very warm thanks to everyone helping me along the path .