" Do you 'always' see life in such black and white ways."

I honestly didn't think I did and I am puzzled why you would say that.......If you mean that for such a recent " ex " I am already very negative about my cult experience...it's because I've really been working on it !! I read the forum ( not everything ) most days..bits of EPO when I can . Sometimes receive private messages and emails which I try to reply to. I just really ,really want to cut through all those years of denial ,Paddy and get to the bottom of it all for my very own good. er..I'll just say that word again.... denial.....thats what I'm talking about.

When I said that my life had been " tattered " ..I am talking..if you like..about my inner life...on the outside its mostly been "nice"...some might consider very successful at times . 

I am sure if you had known me I would probably have fitted in nicely as one of the " lovely premies"  you've known.

As for Sir Dave and Nar...its totally irrelevant whether you know them ( I don't know Nar...I just like some of the expressions he/she comes out with ) or not . The point that I made about Sir Dave and myself was to illustrate with a personal example how I thought I knew someone but because our true personalities were restricted at that time by a cult belief system ,I didn't know him very well at all.

" Maybe it's just because I only know Australian premies and Austalians are a pretty happy lot, what country are you from? "( from RE: Partly thats true and partly it isn't true.)

I'm sorry Paddy but I really cannot buy that garbage that Australian premies are mysteriously happier or that much different to any other premies ( or ex-premies ) ........the sun really has fried your brains if you truly believe that. During my 30 years in the cult I met quite a few Aussie premies at various programs around the world and I'm sorry to inform you that to me they were as dumb as everybody else. Very nice and laid back ( 'specially from Queensland ! ) but no happier. ( I had a nice time in India and Rome with one of them   but he freaked out just like anybody else when a gang of gypsy kids stole his passport !!! )