once the penny dropped, it dropped for me. Well it took 3 weeks to reach the ground. I simply could not overlook the similarities of the story between Rawat and Jesus and now I had had an up close look at a living messiah.
But for three weeks, as I returned to the familiarity of the culture I grew up in, in doing so I returned to the comfort of being a Christian like everyone else around me.
And then one day I looked up, I had been thinking about the way people suffer and I thought you know what God, even if You do exist and can torture me for eternity, now while I'm alive and have a say in it, I need my integrity and I don't want to have anything to do with you.
It's 17 years out now for me. not just out of the cult but out of the belief in God. Really, I dropped it like a hot potato. It's the size of the idea I have a problem with - He's too big for me.
One of the things I have noticed, now I am an ex God-believer is that people who do believe in Him also believe that I cannot therefore be experiencing the feelings they experience through their love and faith in God. Well I do - all the stuff I experienced when I was a god-believer and then some I never did before. Tho I think that's just due to personal timing.
