My wife was still a premie for a couple of years after I left.

I've got a bit of experience, and a few thoughts on the topic.

First thing I'd ask is do you have dependent children at home? If so, and your family is a working, economic unit, I'd think very carefully before doing anything (like giving your partner ultimatums about what he or she can watch on tv, etc).Simply work to make life pleasant for everybody and accept we're all allowed to believe whatever bullshit we want, and kiss any bloody idiot's feet if we feel like it.

Second factor- is your spouse a "career premie". These are the hard-working fanatics always tring to impress premie dignitaries, always scrambling around for "service at the residence", or backstage at cultfests, always trying to wheadle their way into the company of Captain Rawat or his immediate family. Outwardly serene, inwardly deperate to get within grabbing distance of his chubby little cotton socks. If your partner is one of these really hardcore cultheads, the fact that you are posting on the forum, and have left the cult, will be enough to send him down to the bottom rung of the ladder of his or her chosen career of dedicated fanatical divine arse kisser. If you're in this situation, I'd pull up some floorboards when he or she is out, and start a tunnel to sanity.

However, if the third party is simply a run of the mill premie, the tide is coming in for them, and I don't think you need to get too worried about anything- as long as it's not infringing on your life too much. Whenever I started to try and coax my wife away, she became more entrenched in the cult- "Well I'm not bloody leaving just because he's trying to bully me."

An analogy that makes some sense to me is a piece of fruit ripening, an eventually dropping from the tree. You can't hurry it up.

Actually you can speed the ripening process up, you can print out choice items from EPO- Mike Detmers posts, for example, are quite an eye opener for any premie who has been around for a few years, and certainly destroys any ideas of Rawats' perfection, or divinity. Print them out and leave them lying around. That Hassan book Susan mentioned sounds interesting. You could get hold of that, read it yourself, then put it on the bookshelf. Anything to get his or her mind working properly again.

Also, a premie who is putting up a front of absolute devotion, showing no doubt- may have another view of events behind the eyeballs. They may indeed be using their mental faculties to analise their situation, and watching you to see, if indeed ex-premies are cast into a hatefilled hell, of if they are simply getting on with their lives, quite happily.

I'd make sure things are fair on an economic level. For example, if your partner spends $10000 going to Amararoo to drool over the holy lotus socks, you spend $10000 going to Paris, or a tropical island for the same period. (If this works out, and you're having a good time, you could encourage your partner to surrender more, and go to more international programmes.)

Anyway, if any of my advice destroys your marriage, I deny everything.

All the best.

Anth the house-spouse-louse-married to a scouse angel for 35 years.