Hi Fly and thanks for thoughtful kind reply.

First, I`d like to say that I agree with Paddy that being in the cult was not all bad, for me at least. I feel that there were some aspects I enjoyed, the occasional feelings of oneness with the group, the various communal practices, the sense of common purpose, the smiling faces, but these things cannot justify the fundamental lie at the very heart and the serious implications of being in a cult.

Once I had fled the " off spring" group I had some good times too , and I certainly learnt a lot. However , as you have indicated, those good times were all within the parameters of the cult...parameters which had already , one way or another, cut me off from my former path in life ( I had given up my place at university, abandoned my longtime friends and family and stopped doing many of the things I enjoyed.I had given away all my treasured possessions and changed the way I looked ....now wandering around in those long ,plain skirts etc....and I was trying to subdue my imaginative and lively mind !). I had traded my former life for the promise of Bliss and eternal life in the service of the Lord of the Universe. Yes, there were some good times and lovely people I met ( as well as plenty of less lovely people ) but the price was too high IMO. I don't know what my life would have been .....and I'm glad to be out of it all.

Interestingly, I immediately turned to another guru who I felt was a far better teacher, or at least a far better speaker. I obviously had a strong need for a guide and to be part of a group at that time and Shree Rajneesh made a refreshing change from the Lard, though Bhagwan became a cropper in no uncertain terms during his brief sojourn to the West.

Another poster here "cq" who seemed to have done the same thing as you said the same about Rajneesh.I think that path would have been more fun but at that time I would never have renounced my solemn "vow" for a false Lord   !

. Willmot/Breathe sounds like a particularly pernicious character. You have my sympathy. I understand he is still active ?

Yes, he still seems to be stalking potential recruits but using the Internet now.( He dropped Prem Rawat way back in the mid-seventies and assumed his " rightful" place as Guru -in-chief ). He has a web site which I linked to earlier.When I first posted about this almost a year ago another victim of his contacted me and we have remained in touch.I always hope that one or two of the others that were there and who were definitely traumatised to some degree, will see my post.

Anyhow, gotta go.Lexy.

Good for Middlesborough for winning that cup with gritty determination, against all the odds!I watched the match and was pleased for them.

( If you do a " find" from the headers of this forum you can search for people's previous posts)