...did I really say that ?

Is this the actual wording of the vow I took back then ? It has been so long, of course I cannot remember, but if it was then it is hardly surprising that I was so f****d up since. Especially being a good catholic boy... oh the guilt

It is pretty heavy stuff. Do people still make that same vow today do you know, or has it changed?

I do remember that taking Sanyas with Bhagwan Shree seemed much simpler,  friendly and less `religious`. There were certainly no vows involved as far as I can remember ( cq could probably confirm that ), and no secrets to keep.

That was my biggest problems with the Lard`s way... far too secretive, wierd and exclusive.

I remember now, as I came out of the influence I used to rationalise the whole thing by likening my relationships with gurus to marraiges... and divorces. All rather messy.

I did have a showdown with a mahatma in Newcastle just before leaving for the Rajneesh ashram in Poona. Can`t remember who it was but his negative response to Rajneesh confirmed to me that I was doing the right thing by leaving Maharaji.

Dave