but apologising is part of MY healing, 'cause I'm "bigger" than him.  I'm a good person and he is not.

Thanks for your post.  Caring.

Don't think for a minute that my words typed can really transmite my mood.  I'm doing great. 

I know he reads the forum, I know. 

I wanted to remind him that I as many, years ago, JUST wanted an appology, but he kept going and going, trashing his ex-followers.  It made me angry to see the site being shut down, even that I know that it will be online shortly.  For how long is he going to keep the mind game going? 

I voice my feelings and thoughts here for more reasons than my healing process.  As I said before, I feel offended by his actions because they affect my personal life still today, greatly.  I type, I say what I feel, and some around here know, most don't what I'm talking about.  I'll say this.  The power they serve is dark, unjust and shallow and there is another power.... I live with the good one, if you know what I mean. Sorry atheists.

We are lucky indeed. You are right.

I will disclose more shortly.  Is not the right time, yet.  Life is stranger than fiction.  The gooroo people are harrassing me in real life but I'm a warrior and I don't intimidate easily, at all. Stay around and you will read more.  Oh, I wish I was wrong, but daily, it is corroborated that was strarted with a coincidence and questions brought me where I'm today.  It is true.  Sometimes I wish it was just a dream, and that I'm going to wake up and that is not true. 

Does he know what he is doing?

I believe that he thinks he is the LOTU (in a self-deluded, egotistical kind of way). His ego is so big, he will compromise his self-respect, honour and integrity in order to have things his own way and abuse those around him.  To have control.  It's very sad really, and I think he needs help.  I can just imagine him going red in the face and stamping his feet in anger at that new Prem Rawat info site.  He probably screamed at some poor (stupid?) premie GET IT SHUT DOWN!   (Sorry about the caps Mods, but he was probably very angry when he said that!)

Psychologically speaking, he has to continue believing and sticking to his controlling power over the ones who make the "dirty work" for him, otherwise, he would fall apart.  How can you give orders... Deep inside he knows what he did is wrong and that is why he as you said ends up showing his true colors. Fury, I can imagine his eyes.  Poor Prem.

No, he will never appologise, probably not.  That is all I wanted at some point.  He went too far. 

Each person is important and I don't care how much money he has to hire powerful lawyers.  The law protects and it attacks.  He has no choice but to play the game of attacking, but there are laws that protect the right we have to tell the truth, more powerful than money, IMO.

I'm truly glad you were able to dettached yourself from all.

   And although at one time, it did matter to me, I can now quite easily live without his apology. 

Me too. But it wouldn't be great if he could do it?  Money is too important to him.