I agree that nobody held a gun to our head but the fact is that we did go into that Knowledge room.  Do you think, given that the vast majority of people did not go and get K, that we were in some way at 'fault' or blameable for getting K?

Hi Thorin.  I'm not saying 'blameable' but we took a risk in that we laid ourselves open and took an 'initiation' that in most people's book would be a downright weird, if not reckless thing to do.  Plus the fact that the people who took K in the early days were fully aware they were entering into some kind of a commitment.  This was made very clear to us when we were waiting for K.  I also have to be honest here and say I didn't feel disappointed intially after receiving K.  I began to have a good experience shortly after, and committed myself more and more.  They were heady days, both inside and out, or at least I found it heady.  I also knew people who received K at the same time and were never seen again because nothing happened for them, or even if it did, they just chose not to stick around.  We did.

But why?  And isn't it worth trying to find out?  I fail to see why trying to work this one out means letting M off any hook.   Trying to work out why some people are drawn (often repeatedly) to abusive partners doesn't mean the abusive partners shouldn't go to jail.

Livia