I couldn't tell if they were lying of not. It doesn't really matter. Yeah, I fawned over Maharaji, too, while inside I was in misery. I just wanted to believe it so bad, I guess, that it was all true, so I kidded myself and everybody I spoke to about it.

But you can only do that for so long, I think, and I can't say if these people are doing the same. So I'm not going to bother myself about it. Maybe they're like I was and they're kidding themselves because they wish it was true. Then again, maybe something wonderful really did happen for them and they're just expressing that.

Doesn't do anything for me if they are. I'm just glad I'm not hanging on these kind of testaments anymore wishing that someday it will be true for me to, like that one guy who was angry with himself because he couldn't feel love for Maharaji. That was me. This guy says he found love for Maharaji. Me? If I felt love for him 5 seconds my whole time as a premie it was a lot.

I don't feel I'm missing anything, anymore, because I can't love Maharaji. In fact, I feel relieved I don't have to anymore.