like that one guy who was angry with himself because he couldn't feel love for Maharaji.

That guy is Glen Whittaker. Many of us remember him very well in the 70s and 80s when he then spoke loudly and glowingly about the love and devotion he felt for Maharaji.  And yet here in this video recorded in 2001 he says that in the early days he did not experience that love for Maharaji but now he does.

Which version are we meant to believe?