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| Answering Mike |  | ||
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Mike, in answer to your response in an earlier thread... But the negative and worthless I learned from him far outweigh the positive. So can I ask why you originally came to him? In my case I needed (not wanted) to experience first hand who I am. Knowledge gave me a tool to do just that; if for no other reason than the time I spent quietly letting my awareness be taken deeper into myself took me closer and closer to 'me'. You can opine all you want about the motives of the man, but the process of turning your awareness inward through Knowledge does, without question, increase your knowledge of self. So I find it intriguing that if you had an experience anywhere close to mine -- which could not be anything but the case if you sat and quieted the mind to any degree -- that you would not value highly such an experience. I mean, higher than satisfying your curiosity about such topics as astronomy, physics, etc… all interesting and exciting topics, but when the heart laments its emptiness, that stuff doesn’t come anywhere near satisfying its need to be filled. So Mike, it makes me wonder just what you came to him for if satisfying a need in the heart was not what drove your initial acceptance and continued adherence for all those years. If it wasn't that your thirst was co-opted by your curiosity, perhaps it was one of the following: a) Wanted to be on the winning team; after all, they did say he was God b) Was a cool kid and thought it intriguing how at his age he could control all those devotees c) Found an Eastern approach that offered a healthy escape from the angst and tedium of a western bred youth d) Wasn’t ready yet to join the establishment e) Enjoyed the camaraderie you had with premies f) Found a cause you could get behind (see b) g) Just got caught in the zeitgeist of the day h) All of the above And I think I could have learnt the positive from Maharaji in a fraction of the 30 years I spent with him, and saved myself all the grief. In the last 30 years of my life I have been reminded countless times of the beauty within, and have been encouraged to persevere and keep reaching to quench the thirst that made me look for something more in the first place. This, in the face of doubt, fatigue, distraction, and emotional dyspepsia. And it’s taken all 30 of those years to learn what I’ve learned. I know what you're thinking… who gives a flying fuck what I did for the last 30 years, right? Whatever...
So what were those positives you could have learnt in a fraction of the time? In fact, he increased the thirst with his tanatalizing promise of how he could quench it, but which went nowhere. First let me say I consider increasing thirst to be a positive.
And you say it went nowhere. If experiencing what is left when thought subsides and no longer controls your attention is “nowhere” then I have to ask what you consider to be “somewhere”! (Or do you have no idea what I’m talking about?) No-one has hijacked my perception; the tragedy is that I let Maharaji hijack it for so long. If everything he said is, as your “robust and well-tuned bullshit meter” now indicates, was, well… bullshit, how could you have let it go on for “so long”? Thirty years man! That astonishes me Mike. If it was bullshit for 30 years then I’d say something else was ruling the day… like irresponsibility. You must have a difficult time explaining that one to yourself.
Or has the role of “victim” become a refuge from the self-criticism stirred up by such questions? Guess that’s why you have no choice but to degrade anything positive he ever did for you, to the point of demonizing him. The greater the deceit, the more comfortable the role of "victim".
I'd say your bullshit meter still needs a bit of tuning Mike.
Modified by jonx at Tue, Mar 29, 2005, 15:16:26 |
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