Hi Anth,

A number of us gave John lots and lots of support over time since his legal troubles began.  As Bunny mentioned, some even gave John money.  I know that I personally spent considerable time (and money) talking with John.  I did so on the basis that, as friends, we were mutually respectful, honest and candid with one another, as in any friendship.  I also know from talking with others that I wasn't the only one who had that kind of relationship with him.

As in any friendship, expectations arise.  In this case, it was only safe and reasonable for me to assume that John would never simply cut off communication with me.  Indeed, he always assured me quite the opposite, that he valued my friendship and was very grateful that I was willing to spend the time trying to help him figure things out or, more importantly perhaps, just being there to talk with. 

John's initial "apology" was, in some sense, a big insult to me.  I'm sure that other exes who felt they, too, had developed friendships with John feel likewise.  Not just because John was saying things I didn't agree with.  Rather, it was because he essentially attacked us with the cult's own favorite criticisms of us, right off the rack.  It was an ineffectual thing to do.  The argument that we should simply walk away from Rawat and keep our thoughts to ourselves looked every bit as stupid in John's mouth as it ever did in any premie's.  Or that Rawat is entitled to his privacy just like anyone else and that we were unethically invading it?  Stupid, yes, but still a betrayal. 

But what matters here is that John didn't email or call me and say that he'd rethought things and now understood how right the cult was about this or that.  No, he chose to post his views out in the open, posting here but not even talking to us, really just about us, not inviting any sort of feedback, even.  Just, essentially, thumbing his nose at us and all for show.  All just to show the cult what a good boy he could be after all.

Where was the respect for our friendship in any of that, Anth? 

Anyway, as you can see, I wrote John.  I felt that he did indeed owe me an explanation.  Yes, I believe that.  I think that friendship does indeed give rise to expectations like that and it's a good thing. 

But John never wrote back.  Rather, as you know, he simply posted another post, again more for show than anything else.  He knew damn well that no one was going to remove his article or posts from EPO or the forum.  He pretty much explained what that post was all about.  He said that he felt it was necessary to show [the cult?] that he was really sincere and that he could only do that by going the extra mile, so that's what he was doing. 

Again people, including his friends, tried to get him to talk with us.  Again he didn't.  

So then he posts this third message, just dripping with a superior air and disdain for people who actually cared about and worried for John.  John can't be bothered to really talk about things other than to chide us all for not "getting" what was happening with him, despite our best efforts.  Of course, he can't be bothered to really talk about it, either though.

Whether or not the mods are right to intervene is an interesting question, I guess.  One could argue from either side wonderfully, I imagine.  But what's important here, in my view, is that someone, in this case the mods, have reminded John that if he wants respect he has to give it.  I think he's forgotten that.