Hi Babaluji,

I'm sitting here looking at a CD my hubby plays a lot called "Cuban Originals," by Dezi Arnaz, and the best cuts are "Babalu," "Holiday in Havana" and "Cuban Pete."  Dance and sing-along music galore!  "Boom-chicky- boom, Boom-chicky-boom, Boom-chicky-boom."  I've got a feeling that's not your music though. 

You brought up an important topic and I'm interested to hear from others about this.

I find that sometimes when having a discussion with premies about Maharaji and why I left and all the reasons (Jagdeo, Monica, the drinking, the pot smoking, the money, his nasty personality, etc.) the premie will respond with the “unlit match” argument that I or we never understood what it was all about from the very beginning.  Well, I stuck around for about 25 years and I sure thought that I “got it”.

Do these premies actually say "unlit match?"  Or do they just say, "oh those ex-premies never got it.?"  Both?  I don't have any contact with premies anymore so I'm curious.

First of all, anyone who stuck around for 25 years definitely got it unless they were braindead to begin with, and you most definitely are not brain-dead.  What amazes me the most about all of this is Rawat's attempt to even further mind-f**k people, even after they leave.  Oh, it's okay if premies leave and not say anything but, rue the day,  if you do say something, so just watch out.  Then you're a hate group member.  Moi?  It is equally disturbing and perplexing. There's no word that comes to mind at the moment to describe the gall of that except, maybe, gobsmacked.

Basically, will current old time hardcore premies now have to scrutinize each and every premie friend they have as a potential “unlit match” if and when that premie becomes an ex-premie. when that premie becomes an ex-premie.  I suspect that such surprises must be very upsetting.  I mean, what does it feel like when your best premie friend with whom you shared so much satsang and knowing winks and exchanges becomes an ex-premie?  Surely, it can't feel good and one way of heading off the disappointment is to write every one off early on.  And thus, you've got a lot of mistrust in the system.  You know and certainly you must remember - the JUDGING.  Bongos and all the rest.  What an ugly world it is that Maharaji and his premies have in mind for everyone."

There's got to be an enormous, unprecedented amount of paranoia.  The cult now has premies believing (and it's another part of the mind-control) that ex-premies really are an organized hate-group.  How does one argue with that?  On a person-to-person basis it must be so difficult to square the circle of someone who has felt like family for decades and now is not only "away" but, labeled as worse than bad, but evil, someone to be shunned and sued and arrested???  That's extremism.

Bongos.  In some way, each of us was a bongo (I mean, really) but to have created an untouchable class of devotees, many of whom I remember being so unstable in some major way or another is just inhumane and callous.  Everyone knew a bongo.  I can't stand that word.  Did anyone ever try to reach out to these "bongos," or were they someone for us to laugh at, condescend to, and, of course, at programs, keep away from Maharaji?  (I'll insert here that there, indeed, were people who came along that were dangerous to themselves and others, including Maharaji.)  I never was involved in security at programs so I don't know much about this subject and how "bongos" were dealt with.  It's worth talking about, and calling people bongos, well, that makes me feel sad. 

With the possibility of premies becoming ex-premies is it possible that there exists a certain degree of apprehension and mistrust in the premie community?  And one wonders whether a premie community even exists anymore. 

There has got to be so much paranoia. Look at the upcoming program in LA.  There's no information online, when you would think that publishing info online would be a major goal in this day and age.  It's distrust and paranoia because Rawat and EV have premies convinced of all of their so-called "harassment" allegations against ex-premies.  SmartCards!  How can the cult even trust someone with a Smartcard?  (Do they even issue a "bongo" a SnartCard?

Anyone could become an ex-premie at any time and still have a valid card.  Rawat's good at pitting people against each other. Paranoia and distrust.  Apples don't fall far from trees.  I think there always was a lot of distrust under the surface in the past -- we were, after all, strangers thrust together -- who essentially, almost automatically lived together as family.  I think we resolved any distrust issues through the use of "satsang" giving and lots of rationalization. "It's Lila."  "Go with the flow."

You know, as much as we are so far from being a group, but we are definitely bonded to each other because of our common experience, having been in that creepy cult.  Even on the off-topic forum, I see that sometimes we argue like siblings.  It's kind of unique.  Is it??  I don't know.  I think of it as a way of rediscovering ourselves as time goes on, as we filter out the utter shit that Maharaji filled our minds and hearts with.  Not for everyone, I suppose.  I really love it, too.  Makes me feel loved and more secure in myself as a whole person.  No one really can understand us as we can understand each other and "us" as far as we are an "us," after all.

Just a bunch of thoughts...

Cynth

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