..too much honesty for a premie to deal with - yes that's right. It was a genuine surprise to me that my friends could not handle an honest discussion about Maharaji of all things. I knew if I were in their shoes I would so want to be told the truth.
I mean if you were married to an axe murderer wouldn't you want your friend to tell you - it would be entirely appropriate no matter how painful the heartbreak involved. If your bank manager had added a monthly charge to your account that was going into his holiday fund you'd want to know, no matter the loss of trust involved.
But I remember this guy, he hadn't been to a program in years though his wife was still a keen premie and he just about snarled at me when I said some little thing, like I was beneath contempt for being honest.
What I have learnt about myself over the years is that if I am in a corner I can lie like a pro, it just happens without my volition, but normally I am hopelessly honest to the point of it being a handicap.
Still like it despite the trouble I can get into blurting things out. Still grateful to be like that - lot of nice things about it. But certainly come to recognise the very solid majority of people need to keep the honesty at bay for one reason or another.
I feel a little bit targeted by some of the bridge players - they have come to know me a bit and want to know more, omg, are you serious!?!
, so I am in training how to contain my honesty - not that it ever works.
