Regardless of our childhood, most 20 year olds are lacking in wisdom, and the formative years for acquiring a little wisdom are our 20s and 30s. Of course, how much wisdom and maturity people acquire varies greatly. My point is that the process you went through you would almost certainly have gone through without Maharaji, and had you done so you wouldn't be carrying around this purden of 'gratitude' to him for the rest of your life.