I replied to Susan regarding Nemesis' post. I hope you don't hold any bad feelings towards her.

I want to respond to this paragraph from your post:-

This is actually a very profound point and I'm too tired now to go into any more detail except to say before I forget that IMO one of the main causes of my own breakdown ( or whatever you want to call it ) was not having been allowed ,in my life, to be who I truely was and thus the recovery was a journey of discovery to find the person who had been left behind.complete with all her feelings and thoughts and opinions and ideas and history and entirety... and absolutely nothing to do with the not- allowed- to- think creature that Rawat wants us to be.

I think that my depression had exactly the same cause - I wanted to escape from the cult programming but couldn't recognise the problem. One of the symptoms of cult programming for me was clearly being self-centered, although if you would have asked me I would have said that I was a caring, loving, selfless person. Spending 25 years believing that the purpose of life was to realise my true self, and that the world was maya (illusion) was hardly conducive to good mental health.

(I wonder how long it will take for quotes from this post to appear on some premie libellous site?)