Yup, Max, EXCELLENT THAT YOU LEFT.   

You gotta be upset and somewhat frightened.  I was/am.  Embarassed and disappointed in myself  for having fallen for what I now know was such a piece of crap -- and for so many years.  And having such a huge spiritual ego (only I KNEW THE REAL TRUTH IN THIS WORD -- M is the Living Lord.)  HA!  What a painful wakeup for me when I left. Up to that point I'd lost most of my non-premie friends in the world, and now I've lost the all my premie friends, too.   I'm sure you had growing doubts all those years creeping in more and more, year after year.  And my pain has been three years since I exited after near 3 decades, but the hurt is subsiding (thanks to many here), though I'm still ticked off.  The whole friggin EV/DLM crowd is sickening, no? 

It'll be tough for a while.  I cried myself to sleep the night of my first post.  A quick, deep heavy cry.  Shaking off all this crap is difficult, but it can be done.  Look at all these great people who've already done it here and are encouraging you to go on. 

I've got a book suggestion:  COMPLETE CONFIDENCE by Hankin (2004).  It really is fantastic.  I recommend it to everyone here. 

Max, welcome.  I used to speak, and I'm sure you must have also, on his behalf at so many programs and universities.  I gave out the techniques on his behalf in the 80's, but have left all that bull behind.  The total failure of Propagation left me confused.  Propataion turned out to be just another word for FIRST CLASS WORLD TRAVEL BY THE BOSS AND HIS FAMILY AND FRIENDS.  Nothing more.  A REAL SCAM.  Not many people are interested in following a con man guru with sycophant students who just don't give a hoot about anything but kissing his goopy stained socks and getting personal attention -- like selfish little brats .  The poorer or lower class one might be, the less chance of any personal contact.  The richer or upper crust, the better the chance.  Did you ever go to Amaroo and see how the classes are divided, live and eat?  Ah, too much info.  Take care and take your time, my brother.  Look forward to hearing more from you.