I used to be embarrassed and bewildered when he jokily but nevertheless cuttingly insulted the initiators/instuctors.He usually went into a jokey phase towards the end of his "discourse" at an event...would slag them off ,sometimes ( if my memory is correct) mentioning one or two by name.

He made it feel like the lower echelon premies couldn't trust the initiators.I thought that if I couldn't trust them ( as their master didn't seem to) I'd better just do my own thing.

It was confusing because some of them seemed so "devoted" and had given up their lives to him.It appeared so ungrateful on the part of Rawat.I think they would be "blissed out" because the lord had mentioned their name,albeit in a derogatory sense; they were still getting "special" treatment.Any attention was better than no attention.....sad really...and -never leaving room for doubt in my mind- I pushed to one side the part of me that felt that sadness on their behalf.