That's great that you were even capable of feeling insulted by Rawat.  That means you weren't competely gone in to devotional zombie land.

During that period especially, I suspended completely any idea that anything Rawat said wasn't perfect and directly related to saving me, no matter how uncomfortable it was.

And I think the phenomena was like this.  The heavier and more abusive Maharaji got, the stronger the "devotional" and "love" blather got as well.  It was like the more abusive and negative Rawat was, the more essential it was to believe that he loved you and you loved him.  It's completely counterintuitive, unless you are in a cult.   I had a hard time relating to the devotional love aspect, so I think my solution was just to become numb.

But the fact that you could actually feel insulted, I think, means you weren't as far gone as I was.