Well I guess I responded to 'the way I read it' rather than (as you would have it)  'the way you wrote it'.

I did understand your > In my case it has given me a very skeptical outlook on religion and spirituality< - it didn't seem to me to fully address what also seemed to me to be the implication that >it was very beautiful and inspiring< could be taken as a reason to accept the 'then' without adequate criticism - not so much  from the personal perspective - but from the perspective of each of us as contributors to society.

>But it was very beautiful and inspiring then and if it wasn't the same for you at the same time in your life I cannot understand why you became a premie (in year 19xx) and remained one for n years. Revisionism by ex-premies is the same as revisionism by premies.<

Revisionism (IMO) is a fundamental aspect  of  the functioning of human conciousness - we are all engaged in a perpetual process of revising our past in the light of our present. Of course intellectual rigour requires that we challenge that revisionism in any effort to see the truth about ourselves, so yes at an individual level >Revisionism by ex-premies is the same as revisionism by premies< although I think there is argument to be made that collectively there are profound differences between the perceptions of the past and present between premies and exs.

Additionally the reasons why anyone becomes involved in anything and remains with it for whatever length of time are certainly not limited to beautiful and inspiring - witness the number of people who become locked in to abusive relationships that last for decades. What I personally got from being involved changed over time and along with a lot other adolescent feelings I'm sure beautiful and inspiring were there early on, certainly as an ashram premie I was intent upon being a 'beautiful person'.

How I was thirty years ago does not really interest me much (is that the effect of a revisionistic attitude) - what does interest me is  what I did thirty years ago and the effects of those actions on my an others present.

N