You come across here as a person with a humourless obsession. Just a frenetic stream of vitiol about things of which you have almost zero understanding or experience. I'm sure you badger your husband with the same grief, such that he reserves discussing his feelings about the subject. So whatever value you think you brought into your husbands life, I wonder how feels about it today? Unfortunately you'll probably never know 'cause you no doubt do most of the talking in the relationship.

Hope it helps.