So now I attend an event and computer access is limited or only available via the Elan tentsite.... what do I do?

Hmmmm, perhaps create a new identity to continue visiting the ex forum and bounce things off the ex's to see if in fact there is some truth to what ex's are saying.

But.... god forbid any other premies find out who I am.

No problem... keep coming back... even if your arguments are lame and we have heard them before and recognise the conditioning you have been subjected to.

Perhaps subconsciously, this is that premie's attempt at resolving the concerns (drips) seen all around premieworld.

Keep coming back.

The struggle you are going through is natural.

But please understand one thing....

There is a big world out there.... outside m's world.

You will make it. The conflict you experience has been traveled before by others. Hang in there..... you are close to a breakthrough. FREEDOM from slavery.