Hi d!  Yes, I know that feeling of disorientation when you finally let go of something that's been a big part of your life. Like quitting smoking or something--you don't know what to do with your hands!  It's very strange for a while, but an essential phase in getting free and clear of what doesn't support you.

Can you tell your parents you are needing a break from it all for a while?  (Maybe not, if they're that entrenched).  But you do have a right to do what's best for you!  As has been said, it is YOUR life!  That's ironic in a way, because that was the allure of Rawat, that he said things like that.  But the subtext really was, you are mine! And not you, per se, but what you can give me!

Coming out is a process that takes time and lots of courage.  You are already on your way!

Best of luck,

Shelagh