"The horror of realising that you might have given your own life away, (Oh my God - What have I done?) and the dread of having to go back and battle for it's return."

That is a powerful statement. Probably the main reason why it is so hard for premies to leave the cult. I know a premie who has invested 34 years into Prem Rawat's con. Still goes to his programs and contributes. He is a wonderful person with alot of love. This may sound wrong but maybe he is better off being a "lifer" than to realise that he gave 34 years of his life to a con artist.

In my heart, I hope someday we can talk about it all. However, I don't know if that day will ever come. I'd love to tell him what I think about Prem Rawat. If only they were allowed to talk.

I think everything you said in your post is important and well worth thinking about. Thanks Bryn ~ I'm glad you checked in!