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First of all, this isn't a therapy forum and it's never gonna be a therapy forum. No one is equipped here to facilitate that kind of thing.
I'm trying to say here is that surely a part of the healing process should include an attempt to understand why we did what we did. I think the point I'm trying to make is that unless we try and work out why we were so susceptible (OK, more susceptibility, less responsibility), we'll never really know ourselves. All I've ever been trying to say on this subject is that it would be interesting to examine more deeply the reasons why we were so susceptible.
That's exactly what folks do here all of the time. What strikes me as strange is that the poster tries to speak in a globalized way using the "we" word instead of simply saying, "I" want to attempt to understand why "I" got caught up in the cult and how "I" was susceptible, etc. One cannot prescribe a one size fits all method for everyone who posts on this forum, or for everyone who ever joined a cult and later left, regardless of the number of years in the cult. If the above poster wants to talk about why and how she got into the cult, then she ought to go first and lead the discussion. That requires taking a leap and maybe saying some personal things.
This reminds me of real group therapy sessions I've been in over the years. The group is going along well, and most people are participating in the therapy group, talking about their personal issues. It can be tough, but using the group as a tool to work out one's problems can be effective.
Then there is one person who sits silently in their chair and says nothing. You can practically see the steam coming out of their ears. The therapist or group facilitator offers them the "hot seat" and they refuse to say anything substantial, but they are quite willing to blame everyone else in group therapy for their own lack of ability to open up. Oh yes, they will point the finger. Everyone else is wrong and they are being inhibited for a number of reasons which they gladly will point out over and over and in detail.
They complain that the conditions aren't just right for them to open up and that group therapy isn't working for them. Everything is wrong for them: the therapist is "wrong," the other group members are "wrong," the color of the walls is "wrong," the temperature in the room is "wrong," the chair they are sitting in is "wrong." They never progress or get anything from the therapy group because they never do any of their own personal work in order to heal and move ahead. Yet they blame everyone else in the room for their own inability to do what everybody else is actually doing. I've seen this many times. You could practically predict that this person will still be sitting in their chair still steaming a year later, with all new folks in the group -- they will have the same complaints.
People post on this forum for a variety of reasons and it's no one else's business how many years someone posts or for what reason. So long as they follow the rules here, there isn't a term limit for posting. This argument of "let's clear the room of older posters so the more recent exes can talk" is getting really stupid and really, really old.
If someone wants to talk abouat what they want to talk about, well, they're going to have to register and make a post. Life is filled with risks and sitting back and blaming this poster or that poster for one's "inability to post" is ludicrous.
Well, I'm back to vacationland...
Cynthia
Modified by Cynthia at Fri, Jun 03, 2005, 05:16:56
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