Joe and Lexy,

I hear you, but I'm just not convinced.  To muddy the waters a bit, you were an ashram premie (Lexy I'm not sure if you were) and I was your run-o-the-mill premie, dedicated though I was.  However, none of us were PAM's!  At least not that I am aware.

For a PAM to say this stuff and completely ignore the activities that went on out of the public-premie eye, is more than I can bear.  I think they have a vested interest in seeing Rawat, Inc stay in business (purely as a business).  How could they not? 

I know this sounds like old hat to you guys, but like I said earlier, this in-your-face lying really hit a hot-button that I never even knew I possessed.  I've seen what everyone wrote, I've read virtually everything on EPO, I've heard the "Stories" of nearly every ex that has hit this site and it upset me.  It certainly put the coffin nail in my participation, no doubt about that. But, I wasn't "pissed off!"  A little maybe, but not down-home ANGRY!  To hear these guys lying, so blatantly, REALLY pissed me off....... you know what I mean?  I trusted these folks.  I trusted that what they said during a satsang was true.  I trusted that what they said about time spent witn M was true.  I "trusted their devotion," if nothing else. 

Turning a blind eye is one thing (love will do strange things), but ripping your eyeballs out at the root, is totally different!  Actually, I don't think they did that, either...... I think they KNOW EXACTLY what is going on and the revisionism/lying is telling that tale.

I may be overreacting, but it's "my" turn, ok?  I'm really upset with these people, not just M.