Then it's so much easier to to cope, and live with.  And then we do understand why that is happening or why we had to go through that certain experience.

This is a common new age belief even outside the culst-- that what we experience in this life is because we need that lesson to grow. To me that idea sucks, especially if it does not include the next part that should say we won't grow unless we deal with it by taking our power back, confronting the issue, talking about it and learning how to set boundaries and not allow those kinds of people in. This is not so easy as a child, when we don't know these concepts and our parents, who are supposed to protect us, are brainwashed into believing that new age mythology or are clueless because of a coverup. Those who cover this up are just as guilty as the person who committed the crime of abuse.