Thanks for your reasoned exchange here.  Personally, I don't understand how premies balance the old days and the new days.  In 1997, when I gave up the practice of Knowledge, I could not find that balance.  Evidently, you have found the way to accept the innocuous public relations image of the Prem Rawat Foundation while accepting the validity of Maharaji's past, even though there seems to be serious contradictions.    To discuss this issue thoroughly would take a very long time, thus the forum continues on.

I don't have too much time today, but I'll try to address other issues you presented in your message later, Will.  In the meantime, I took the first and last paragraphs...hope you don't mind.

Thank you for your reasoned attitude toward my exchanges here.  The balance came from enjoying Knowledge and from all the beauty I was finding within me, feeling peace and love and joy within me much more than anger, fear, sadness.  This became so very clear in me and in my life, so I've always made the conscious choice to continue in this path. 

You, Elisa, have accepted this most essential idea, Maharaji as giver of the experience.  This is the difference between you and we exes.  I only hope that you can see that the true similarity between us is actually more basic and more powerful than the difference.  We are still united in our sameness, while each unique.

To me, Maharaji is not the giver of the experience, Will.  Never was, never will (now this sounds poetic, doesn't it?)  His speeches, the feeling I feel in his words, his persistent effort on going for Knowledge...inspire me and nurture me.

I can see the true similarity between us, and that we're united in our sameness while each unique.  And I think that everyone does what everyone does to feel good, Will, not bad.  So people choose whatever they think it's best for them to feel good.  Life is about choices