Hi,

in one way I have my trouble to distinguish the meaning of emotion and feeling. Both seem the same, but I think there is a difference that I can't explain clearly.

The thing with M for me was very much based on emotions. What I really felt was unclear because I never met him as a person or spoke to him.

I like the energy of emotions so far we can use it in a creativ way, but if we get a victim of our emotions, then anger, hate, jealousy and even too much in love, or bound to be friendly is destructive for ourself.

When I came to M one reason was that I felt somehow lost in this world and m promised me that I can find my way back home with knowledge. So I longed for it desperatly. For the frustration that had led me into a cult he is not responsible. As a human being that longs for healing, I have to see, that that anger and frustration is something I put up on my frustration in the first place. Or easier, we long for a new pain to forget an old pain, like with drugs its often funny and amazing in the beginning and we think it is a help and than the problems increase. In retrospect M was a bad adress to get help from but I know there were bader ones, so far we all had a little good luck. We ex premies have learnt a bitter sweet lesson and I hope we all make the best out of it.

........caio....wolfie.........