Joy,

When I hear premies like you bring the light up I feel like asking if you remember what the whole trip with the light was anyway.  It wasn't a matter of just seeing it, as anyone who got Knowledge had that experience.  No, the light was supposed to grow and grow, the meditations were supposed to deepen beyond our comprehension and we, through a fully dedicated and surrendered life of satsang, service and meditation, were supposed to achieve God-realization.  Rawat claimed that he was in a permanent God-realized state, said that his family and the mahatmas were there too (just not at his same level, whatever that meant) and that we could be as well, as soon as we "realized" Knowledge.

Of course that was all 100 per cent bullshit.  Rawat was getting drunk at Millenium and screwing Marolyn.  His family consisted of one goofy older brother preoccupied with aliens and silly logic (Knock Out HOUston TECsas!), a chubby simpleton and another teenager who loved guns, power and screwing hot western models like the one he married, all dominated, to the extent that she could, by one fat, dour bitch.  The mahatmas were confused turkeys pretending to be holy although half of them couldn't keep their hands off the cute little braless hippie chicks dreamily batting their eyelashes at them.  No one was God-realized.  No one was getting God-realized.  Nothing was happening, it was alllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllll bullshit.

I laugh now when I see premies argue that the light is anything more than a cheap parlour trick but are afraid to restate what we were first led to believe about it. 

Anyway, you should read some science for a change.  You've spent what now?  Thirty years, maybe even a bit longer, reading a few spiritual poets?  Maybe a few fantasy writers as well?  How about checking out what science says about who we are and how we got here?  You seem rather clueless about all that.