Well Joy, if you're still around, I do have to admit, that I agree with everything Jim and Joe and Dermot are saying. The thing is you have to once you leave Rawat. At least for me, it's an all or nothing deal. Either he is what he originally said he was or it was all a lie. I personally don't get the premies who sort of hang in the middle with one foot in the swimming pool and the other holding on to the railing. So once you say to yourself, this isn't real, the whole stack of cards comes falling down.

I remember for a while rummaging the thought around in my head, "well what if he really is God" or something along those lines. But you know, at one point I just said, "who cares". Because as Joe said above, if God created this whole big universe with all the really amazing stuff in it, just so that he/she could come in the guise of one specific form of life on one insignificant planet and make them worship him/her and generally give them all inferiority complexes, well fuck him/her. I'd rather burn in hell or come back as an amoeba. Amoebas don't have such a bad life and I hate the cold anyway.

I mean maybe there is a God somewhere who actually isn't a bastard, but it is keeping itself pretty damn quiet in that case. It's like the non-interference plan. Make all the shit and see what happens.

So back to that thing about me accepting that you are not deluding yourself. Well let me put it this way. I don't know what kind of friends Jim and Joe hang out with, but new ageism is alive and thriving in Berlin, Germany. If I got into it with everyone I know who was doing some kind of meditation or swinging kinesiology pendulums or visiting their homeopath or calling their local telepsychic or doing "Familien Aufstellen" (family alignment therapy?) or throwing Oshi Tarot cards or feng shui, or "learning" how to breathe, or doing pilates ... I would be arguing all day.