I received knowledge in 1974, practiced it diligently every day and gave M my life later when he 'made that opportunity available'. For all those years I spent as much time as humanly possible around Maharaji, travelled the world, worked for him, did nothing but service whenever possible, met him spoke with people around him, wanted to help him in his work etc. I had good times and some dreadful ones too.Now during the course of my involvement (which I have tried to impress you was quite considerable) I met and befriended many good people of similar persuasion. We all thought M was a kind and loving person who cared about us too.
So now, it's 2005 and very few of the premies or ex-premies (as some may have become) whom I know seriously consider these so-called rumours untrue. In fact many know and admit that there was a side to M's life which was purposely concealed because of it's nature. More importantly it's up to people who've seen behind the scenes to decide whether this is something that reflects on M's honesty or not. This is what's put some people off, not their experience of peace or the fact that he can speak eloquently and inspiringly about Knowledge. Also I can tell you that a number of people have even more down to earth reasons for wanting to hurt or 'besmudge' M and that is because they feel that his excessive demands for commitment, time and money - and the sacrifices they made - hurt them and their lives very badly, and they see him living the life of Riley and reaping the rewards of their sacrifices. And all they get is contempt and derision in return.
They also feel that he was flippant and dismissive of them and they were discarded callously when he no longer had any use for them. They want him to acknowledge, or at least be more known for, his effect on people that the advertisements don't mention. They want some kind of justice and not to always to be told that 'He gave them the Greatest Gift' and that nothing they could ever give in their miserable lives could possibly pay for it and so they're just these lowly moaning ingrates. I'm mean, giving your life is quite a substantial price. I don't recall M ever thanking anyone for that gift to him. Where is that at??
Also of course some premies are highly concerned that he can, without qualm, paint a revisionist picture of the past for his new audience, that blames premies for mistakes that were actually his. This is not a virtuous trait. Can a Lord or Master be a coward too?
Is this a Jesus, a Buddha, a Krishna or a God? Maybe that's what God wants - us to make a ridiculous leap of faith and trust in someone who hurts and confuses us. That was not for me I'm afraid.
