It was a deep hole to dig out of wasn't it.  I didn't have the same level of opportunities to compromise myself in service as you suffered, Bob but there is no way to avoid the issue that I became a complete prat - something I didn't discover until I left.  

Well actually I do remember one of the last events I went to and I was back home, gone to town and went into the vegetable shop where a very nice family worked and I had taught their children swimming and, you know, these are people I am still grateful I met - as I went in I was thinking about how I should try and hold onto the special feeling of being with Maharaji and I didn't even have to say anything, nor did she, she just gave me a look - I was so up myself. 

It was a real wake up call and started me thinking, one of those drips that start pouring in when you get to 40s.

So it was like the first part of the path to redemption was relatively simple - talking to my friends and speaking up here, just living and recovering a bit was enough.  But then it was facing up to the underside of premiedom, the consequences, all the thoughts I didn't have.

And you know I have kinda faced up to all of that but I do think maybe the path of redemption continues.