Then there's the peculiar twist of "Knowledge of God" into "Self-Knowledge." Supposedly the life force, God, the difference between a dead body and a living body, immortal, infinite and so on - the irresistable bait Prem Rawat dangled before vulnerable people. So what does such a pragmatically useless proposition like Self-Knowledge f/k/a Knowledge of God even mean? The historic overlapping of the two implies that our true self is God. So am I God or am (was) I the cult-indoctrinated ego/identity shattered, utterly dependent, non-existent if it weren't for him... devotee of Prem Rawat that he turned me into? Since I'm obviously not God, it can only be the later. Any understanding other than that would've been branded as "unclear" in that cult.

That's why you see those six adherants (one of whom stood next to me singing Arti in an ashram we both lived in) groveling to please their master with their impeccable testamonials. They're clearly trying to please him, presumably in the hope of being showered with His Grace - one of the key elements of practicing so called Self-Knowledge: grace follows effort (and servitude) and His Grace is the only thing that makes Self-Knowledge do anything at all. (Prem Rawat's words, not mine.) No wonder Prem Rawat's followers can't be honest.

All any of this proves is that ANYONE can get swept-up in a cult.

It makes me sick... the difference between Prem Rawat's public image and how hard he squeezed his followers behind closed doors once he had them firmly in his grip (not to mention his need to anesthetize his "self" with all the alcohol, nocotine and luxuries he consumed after the cameras and microphones were switched off. Prem Rawat subjected me to the worst belittling, insults and humiliation I ever experienced, only because I allowed myself to be that open, vulnerable, trusting and dependent on him - exactly as he taught. I was so beaten down mentally and emotionally that all I could do was metaphorically curl-up in a fetal position and thank him for his mercy.

I remember that brand-new stack of high gloss 'Leader' magazines we placed conspicuously on the welcome table at our introductory events. "See? Look! He's for real. He's really credible!"... because we had little else to latch-on to and we were desperate for credibility and legitimacy.

And when I say "we," I'm referring to a room full of followers striving to act self-realized as if they actually had "Self-Knowledge." In hindsight, especially during and after the heavy devotional era, it was the most awkward, uncomfortable and inhibited group of people I ever spent time with. Imagine the strain of having to think hard in order to speak clearly and consciously all the time, i.e., not free to be... well, yourself!

I'm so glad I can finally see through the facade of that utterly deceptive and self-serving article.