Your post captured me when you said you didn't think much of the Jagdeo story because you were too obsessed with personal cult implications (leaving the cult). That easily could've been me and I can completely relate. I'll bet every poster here can recall situations in which they didn't pay enough attention to the pain or difficult circumstances of others when they were influenced by the cult because they were distracted, didn't have enough bandwidth, or, like me, too self-absorbed.* And Susan's story was, after all, instrumental in you leaving the cult.

To be able to witness you saying that to Susan now... it's really special and it's why there's nothing else like this forum.

When I expressed guilt and remorse for all the crappy things I did as an ashram housefather and communiity coordinator, I haven't forgotten that you were the first to tell me not to blame myself. 

That's the first I heard about Jonathan Gainer leaving nothing of his significant wealth to his wife and seven kids. Whatever the reason, and we both have strong suspicions, that's a fine example of what devotion to Maharaji/Prem Rawat does to people.

* It's not like anyone here knew what Jagdeo was doing and participated in the cover up.