But apart from all that - the type of depression you refer to is usually (not always) caused by a chemical imbalance in the brain due to the re-uptake of serotonin - which is the thing that makes the brain feel good! The SSRI type of anti-depressant is basically a serontonin re-uptake inhibitor, which allows more sertonin to actually make the leap across the synapses, hence more of the good stuff gets processed.

You chose not to take medication, which might be why your depression lasted for five years (combined with whatever was occuring in your life at the time that didn't make it any easier). The reason I promote medication is because I have seen it work miracles, even when only used to help someone get up out of the pit long enough to make some life choices that might help them. Not all anti-depressants work the same for everyone, so a person might need to take one type, and then change to another until they find the one the does the job without undue side effects.

Yes, compassion and sensitivity are needed, but so is practical advice and and a no-nonsense attitude. I have seen people become "victims" in their own mind, unable to get out of the pit of self-despair because their whole world is focused on their depression! The important thing IMO is to get the physical (chemical) helped needed, and then to take control of your own life again. This involves more than just the internal feelings. To fight the victim mentality is one of the hardest - yet most productive things a depressed person can do.

Rawat took away control of our lives -- or we gave it to him on the promise that he would take care of us - he used and abused us instead. Mishler said it best, the ashrams made premies less competent as human beings (paraphrased here), and Rawat is the one who told us to surrender the reins of our life to him. Many premies experienced depression due to a loss of control - but the fear of challenging their beliefs was too great, so they remained trapped. That might be why some of them are now so nasty about exes? They know the emperor has no clothes but they don't want anyone to point it out.

Your stong reaction to what I said might also be partly because you understand what I am saying, but can't quite accept it. The first step to mental health (once again IMO) is to accept total responsibility for one's own life and actions and even one's self-centeredness. The idea of being s.c. is so upsetting! "I'm not self-centered! Not me!" But I know that I am, and so is everyone else, the degree of self-absorption is what causes problems.

I read a quote by Alan Watts where he said something about people trying to be humble, but arrogance was more fun. Now, I don't mean that anything should be carried to extreme (like Rawat's arrogance in claiming to be god) but we don't have to be perfect - or even nearly perfect -- just human.

And I have found that Jim has a wonderful attitude to life -- humor. nothing is better than laughter! It's hard to take oneself seriously when the whole world is viewed as just a cosmic joke. Lest I be misunderstood again, this does not mean to laugh at the misery of others -- but that is another discussion....