I believed that Maharaji protected me , helped me in my day to day life and was the source of all my life and love.

By the end of my 28 yr connection, I was just paying lip service to that,rather in the way that superstitious people from an RC background pop into a church from time to time, in order to light a candle. Nonetheless, I was mightily pissed off to realise I'd been taken for a mug all those years, & beyond that there is the really big freakout, & one of the reasons little discussed here, why I consider him to be in need of exposure.

Death.

I know this is a very difficult subject to talk about, indeed is almost taboo in our society, although Hamzen had a go in a recent thread. I consider above all else that Rawat's flippant & empty promise to be there at the end, & unspoken these days but not in the past, beyond the end, is likely to be at the root of much of the angst ex-premies have when they start to 'get over it'.