I think I can live without having to justify my life, or finding a purpose. It's worked for a while now anyway.

But did you ever feel that your mystical experiences were themselves a fullfilment of purpose? Maybe it was becasue I was so intent on finding God that when I experienced him, I felt a purpose was fulfilled. It's a mystery really. I'm just going on what my gut tells me at this point. One thing, though, I never felt Maharaji had anything to do with the experience, and I had been a premie for several years before it. I just never could make the connection between him and it. In fact, the experience left me thinking that Maharaji was just a middle man that I no longer, actually never, needed. I felt that only God can reveal himself, nobody else. And I never really believed Mahararaji was that.